4 Ways to Jazz-up Product Descriptions (without Hype)

4 Ways to Jazz-up Product Descriptions (without Hype)

December 5, 2017 4:00 pm

In response to Karon Thackston, writer of Amazon Benefit: Product Itemizing Methods to Increase Your Gross sales, profitable ecommerce retailers keep away from hype. Furthermore, Amazon’s official phrases of service for sellers forbid using empty marketing phrases and over-excited language in product listings.

Thackston, president of Marketing Phrases, which focuses on Amazon, eBay, and different ecommerce copywriting, offered me with a pair of bullet-level examples for instance what Amazon is referring to.

  • Unacceptable: #1 BESTSELLING WATER BOTTLE ON AMAZON! Superior options make this the one water bottle you’ll ever want. Take a look at our critiques and see that this new water bottle beats all of the others palms down!!
  • Acceptable: No-Dribble Mouthpiece Design: In contrast to atypical water bottles which aren’t constructed to suit your mouth, this [brand] bottle gives an ergonomically designed, no-dribble sipping spout for added consolation.

Discover that the primary instance fails to offer any particulars about what shoppers would truly be getting on this water bottle — simply lots of enthusiasm. The second instance presents factual and helpful specifics in an easy but partaking tone.

Even when you by no means promote on Amazon, the excellence between hoopla and useful copy is significant. You don’t need buyers to click on away to a different vendor in the hunt for the small print they should decide. You don’t need clients to fall for hype after which return merchandise as a result of they weren't what they anticipated. And also you definitely don’t need clients posting dangerous product evaluations.


Let’s take a look at parts to keep away from in your product descriptions to maintain them helpful and toned-down for buyers.

  • Unsupported superlatives. Whenever you merely name one thing “the most effective,” “probably the most lovely,” or “the cutest,” readers might marvel why. Who says? If a reputable third get together, reminiscent of an business blogger, a well known determine, or a named buyer stated so, attribute the quote to her. If there’s an goal purpose for saying one thing is “greatest,” cite that purpose. In any other case this type of language comes throughout as scorching air.
An excerpt from Google’s posted AdWords policies shows the ban on superlatives in its advertising except when they are backed up by an independent third party.

An excerpt from Google’s posted AdWords insurance policies exhibits the ban on superlatives. It reads, “The next just isn't allowed: Promotions that include the superlatives and comparatives “greatest,” “higher than,” or some other equal claims the place that declare just isn't supported by third-get together verification on the touchdown web page.”

  • Exclamation marks. Go straightforward on exclamation marks. Higher but, keep away from them altogether in your product descriptions. They’re a lazy author’s determined try and convey emotion. To the reader, they evoke a man yelling right into a megaphone.
  • Unimaginable claims. Together with issues that aren't true, or outcomes that nearly by no means occur, might arouse want — for instance, “you’ll shed kilos with out weight-reduction plan or train” or “the blender that provides your greens 4-star style” or “a scent that no man can resist.” Nevertheless, such guarantees are sometimes large exaggerations or outright lies. Keep out of authorized scorching water and create practical expectations by writing solely what you can again up in courtroom.
  • Pleasure with out details. Many product descriptions are full of adjectives. Some adjectives are really informative and others merely emotional. Descriptions like “miniature,” “sturdy,” “mushy,” and “modern” assist the consumer perceive variations between these merchandise and others. In distinction, adjectives comparable to “superb,” “superior,” “thrilling,” and “fascinating” say little or nothing particular. The identical goes for phrases like these within the “unacceptable” pattern Karon Thackston cited, above: “the one water bottle you’ll ever want” and “beats all of the others arms down.”

four Methods to Jazz-up Product Descriptions

With out hype, your marketing copy doesn't should be a dry monotone. As an alternative, enliven product descriptions by sprinkling within the following 4 parts.

  • Sensory language. Embrace phrases that feed the reader’s visible, auditory, or tactile creativeness. It’s even higher if there’s an emotional tinge to your phrases. For instance, calling a stuffed toy “snuggly” as an alternative of simply “delicate” or “cottony” implies that somebody will really feel comforted by cuddling with it. A “whisper quiet” fan invitations the consumer to think about simply how onerous it's to listen to when working.
When Patagonia describes its boxer shorts as “comfortable against the skin” and “soft to the touch,” rather than just “comfortable” or “soft,” the shopper imagines how the shorts would feel when worn.

When Patagonia describes its boxer shorts as “snug towards the pores and skin” and “mushy to the contact,” fairly than simply “snug” or “delicate,” the consumer imagines how the shorts would really feel when worn.

Imaginative situations. Assist consumers perceive how a product will work of their lives. Inform them that the ergonomic grip of a stapler means their hand gained’t get drained stapling 100 flyers for his or her youngsters’ faculty. Or how the outer compartments of a backpack permit them to seize what they want throughout a fast cease on the path.

This vivid description of a women's hoody from Moosejaw places the product into the shopper’s lifestyle by describing it as “a cozy wrap for cool coffee mornings or heading to yoga at the downtown studio.”

This vivid description of a ladies’s hoody from Moosejaw locations the product into the consumer’s way of life by describing it as “a comfortable wrap for cool espresso mornings or heading to yoga on the downtown studio.”

  • Sudden vocabulary. As an alternative of describing the above hoody as extending a sure variety of inches under the waist, Moosejaw wrote “tunic size to cowl your legging-bottomed tush.” As an alternative of “lengthy-sleeved to maintain you heat,” it stated “lengthy sleeve to maintain the goosebumps at bay.” Different blurbs on Moosejaw.com for chilly-climate gadgets use jazzy phrases corresponding to “able to lure heat air subsequent to your physique,” “whereas it’s busy preserving you toasty heat,” and “will tackle the weather from rain to snow and even sleet and wind.”
  • Conversational tone. Attempt ditching an impersonal strategy for a pleasant, informal method. Use “you” and “we,” questions and sentence fragments, and roundabout or casual methods of getting some extent throughout. For example, “You understand how friends by no means know the place to take a seat at dinner events? With our kooky place playing cards, your shindig kicks off on a enjoyable word.”
British etailer Loaf writes the way a chatty furniture salesperson would talk to a shopper, with expressions like “easy-peasy,” “No problemo!” and “Call us to find out more."

British etailer Loaf writes the best way a chatty furnishings salesperson would speak to a client, with expressions like “straightforward-peasy,” “No problemo!” and “Name us to seek out out extra.”

King Arthur Flour gives this high-end bread maker a down-home nickname (“Zo”) and describes it in a next-door-neighbor voice.

King Arthur Flour provides this excessive-finish bread maker a down-residence nickname (“Zo”) and describes it in a subsequent-door-neighbor voice.

Present Strong Information

At a minimal, maintain your marketing copy freed from over-promising, exaggeration, and pointless bragging. Ensure you’re offering strong info for potential consumers. Then, if you'd like, jazz-up your wording to intensify rapport.

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